


Whole Foods

by writersneverdie



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Reverse Chronology, Writer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:23:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersneverdie/pseuds/writersneverdie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael’s book gets released in early March with a lot of initial success. Critics dubbed it a worthy second novel from a promising American author. They say he manages to live up to the standard he set for himself with his stunning debut novel. It fills Sidney with so much pride and affection. He didn’t know he was capable of feeling so proud of someone who isn’t on his team, or in his family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whole Foods

The End

July 2016

It’s a Deadspin article that makes Sidney grab his phone and text the words he never thought he would to Michael. 

‘I want us to go public, I want to come out.’

Michael calls him because he doesn’t do text message conversations. He only left 10 minutes ago to go to the grocery store, but in that time the article has been published and Sid has received over 50 text messages. 

“What do you mean, Sid, why now?” Michael says to him, no panic in his voice but rather concern. 

“I don’t want the speculation anymore, and I don’t want to not want to be with you all the time because it causes the speculation,” Sid tells him earnestly.

“What’s been written?”

“I’ll read you the headline,” Sid says clicking back to the screen he purposely covered up with a new, unused, tab. “Is Sidney Crosby dating New York Times bestselling author, Michael Wilitsky? The Ethics of Writing about the Sexuality of Athletes.” He hears Mike make a sound of both disgust and astonishment. “Then the article goes on to say a lot of shit about how it’s not okay to talk about whether an athlete is gay or not.” 

“Wow,” Mike says, “That’s fucking bullshit.” 

“Let me quote you the best part, the first line of the article says: ‘We’d like to apologize to Sidney Crosby for using his name to gain attention for this article, Deadspin does not like to engage in speculation, especially in something like the sexuality of hockey’s best player.” 

“What the hell?” Mike says angry. “That’s some of the worst journalism I have ever heard. What else does it go on to say?” 

“It talks about how they have tried to avoid the pictures of us making the rounds through the media and how they wanted instead to use it as a platform to make their final stance on talking about the sexuality of athletes. They talk about how they were happy to see the couple of professional athletes that have come out in the past year, but how they will never again address the subject, even as professional athletes continue to come out.” It took him 5 or 6 tries, but he manages to finish reading the entire article, and although he completely disagrees with the way in which Deadspin decided to go about writing an article about this subject, he appreciates a few of their points. 

“I’m so sorry about the pictures, Sid,” Mike tells him after they lived inside a mutual shocked silence for a minute. 

“Don’t. Seriously. You should not feel sorry about putting your head on my shoulder in an empty grocery store that we purposely went to at 5 o’clock in the fucking morning.” Sid won’t let Mike blame himself for this. 

“And my hand on your ass,” Mike says, sounding embarrassed. 

“Michael, this is not your fault. There was, we thought, no one in that store besides us, okay?” 

“But if it weren’t for those pictures, then it wouldn’t be all over the internet and this article would never have been written.” Sidney wonders what section of the grocery store Mike is standing in. He hopes it’s not the frozen food section, he knows how it gives him the heebee geebee’s. 

“We both know it’s been a slow burn, ever since we were first spotted together in Nova Scotia last summer, it was only a matter of time,” Sid says in what he hopes is a calm and matter of fact tone. 

“But, is this what you really want? To come out? You already have a media circus around you all the time, this will only increase it tenfold.” 

“I’m not going to let it become anything like that. Since we started talking, I’ve formulated a plan.” 

“You’ve formulated a plan in the last 5 minutes?” 

Sid jumps up off the couch and starts walking toward the office, “Yea, finish the shopping then come home and I will fill you in, I’ve got to flesh it out a bit.” 

He hears a small chuckle escape from Mike, “Alright, I will be home soon.”

Sid’s got a plan and it’s going to work. He will make it work.   
_____

Mike returns home 15 minutes later with only one bag of groceries. He wears a look of obvious concern. 

“So, what’s the plan?” he says after lightly placing a kiss on the back of Sid’s head. 

“The plan is that we both release statements saying we are in a relationship and we love each other and blah, blah.” 

“Blah, blah?” Mike says as he puts the apples the fridge. 

“That’s what publicists are for,” Sid says, looking over to Mike to receive an eye roll. “And then we never talk about it again.” 

“Never?” Mike says unpacking the asparagus from the bag. 

“At least for the next couple of years. We no comment every single time it is brought up. And,” Sid says pausing. 

“And?” Mike asks, face hidden by the 3 bags of peppers he is holding up while he reaches for the vegetable bowl. 

“No one else can talk about it, no one in the Penguins organization, none of the players, none of the coaches or the administrators, everyone says no comment every time they get asked about us. Fuck, no one in fucking Wilkes-Barre can say anything but no comment.” 

Mike finishes putting the oranges in the fruit bowl before looking up at Sidney. When he does, Sid can tell he’s thinking about it. Thinking about what Sid said and digesting it before he says anything back. It’s the writer part of him that does this, and sometimes it annoys him, but mostly Sid understands. He understands the importance of information and how it’s said, how it’s perceived. 

“What about the players on the other teams, from around the league?” he eventually asks. 

“They can say whatever they want, I just don’t want it to be a distraction in my room, with my team, that’s all I care about.” 

“And me? Does my team say anything, my friends in the literary world?” Mike is done unpacking the one bag of groceries he managed to bring home, even though he went to the store with the intention of major shopping, it seems he didn’t get past the fresh foods section before he got Sid's text message. 

“I mean, I would prefer that they don’t say anything either, but that is up to you, up to your discretion, your world,” he says. He thinks that total silence is the best way to do it, for right now, at least, but he’s not going to tell Michael what he has to do. He knows it wouldn’t be fair. 

“Why release the statement then?” 

“To stop the speculation, to be able to go out to dinner together without using the backdoor and renting the whole place out. To go to the grocery store together at a normal fucking time. To be able to be together and go to the holiday party’s at our jobs together.” 

Mike walks over to him, sits down in his chair at the island at their house in LA. He puts his hand on Sidney’s leg, looks into his eyes and says, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“It’s a good plan, let’s do it. I’m going to go start working on my statement,” Mike gets up and heads in the direction of their office room. “Will you go finish the grocery shopping?”   
_____ 

When he gets back from the store, Mike isn’t anywhere on the main level of the house. He must still be in their office working on his statement. Sid smiles to himself thinking about how many times Mike’s probably wrote and erased, wrote and erased. He’s watched him delete entire chapters with one hit of a button, seen him print out a book just to crumple up and throw away every page individually. As much as it hurts him to see Mike torture himself with wanting his writing to be perfect, it’s one of the reasons they work so well together. They understand this drive in each other and although it has led to some bumps along the way, the same drive manages to bring them back together. 

Sidney finishes putting all the groceries away and goes to sit down on the couch to call his agent. He’s scrolling through his contacts when Mike comes in and sits down next to him. 

“I’ve come up with at least 50 different statements,” he says draping his legs across Sidney’s thighs. 

“Yea? What do they say?” 

“Mostly that I am in a committed relationship with you. That we are dedicated to building a life together and wish for privacy and we will not comment further on our relationship in any way,” Mike says with a sigh. 

“Those sound good,” Sids says. He’s absentmindedly rubbing circles into the side of Mike’s calves, thinking about what he’s going to say to his agent. 

“They’re fine, but I wish they had something more, that they could convey more.” He’s got his eyes closed and his head back against the arm of the couch. Sid has the urge to pull him up by his arms, kiss him and tell him whatever he wants to say will be fine-to stop worrying about it. 

But, instead he says, “What do you mean more?” 

“I wish I could somehow convey how important this is, our relationship, for me.” 

“For us,” Sid says because it is as equally important to him, maybe even more. 

“Yea,” Mike says. He brings his hand up to rubs his eyes, pinch the bridge of his nose. Sid starts to rub his feet, hoping it helps. 

They sit like that for a few minutes, breathing and being together in this moment. A moment of silence, of comfort, before so much will change. A moment before the moment when Sidney calls his agent and Mike calls his publicist and a new reality begins. 

Michael sits up suddenly and Sid jerks his head up to look at him. “Sid?” Mike says quietly. 

“Yea?” 

“Will you,” Mike says, then stops. He shakes his head side to side, then looks back into Sid’s eyes. “Sidney Crosby, will you marry me?” 

Mike’s legs are still draped across his thighs, his hands on top of Sidney’s, which are gripping his calves so hard they might leave bruises. He feels like the air has been sucked out of his lungs. When he gets it back, he loosens his grip, turns his hands around to take Mike’s in his, “Yes,” he says with butterflies bursting in his stomach, “Yes.”   
_____

It is with huge excitement I am announcing my engagement to my long term boyfriend, Michael Wilitsy. We are happy to share this news as we are overjoyed and do not want to continue living our lives in a cloud of unwanted and unnecessary speculation. I am and will continue to be dedicated to my team and do not wish for this aspect of my private life to be a distraction to the Pittsburgh Penguins organization. With this in mind, Michael and I will not comment publicly on our relationship after this statement. Further, no one in the Pittsburgh Penguin organization will not comment on my private life in any way. We appreciate your understanding and well wishes as we begin our life together as a married couple.   
~~~~~  
With extreme enthusiasm and eager excitement, I announce my engagement to my love, Sidney Crosby. We have so far lived our time together as a couple shrouded in cloud of secrecy due to the nature of our public lives and we are happy to be able to share the news of our commitment and love to one another by announcing our upcoming marriage. However, we will not be making any further public statements about our relationship, wedding or anything pertaining to our private lives in the future. My team at Macmillin and the New Yorker will also decline to comment on the private life of me, as their employee, or Sidney Crosby, as a professional hockey player. We appreciate your support and are hopeful that you will respect our wishes to not further discuss our private lives.   
_____

They get married the next year on American Thanksgiving in Toronto, Ontario because Sid has a game there in two days and they wanted to do it in Canada. Thanksgiving always held a special meaning for them, and they didn’t want a big ceremony, anyways. Surrounded by his teammates, their close friends and, of course their families, Sidney and Michael say their vows with tears in their eyes. 

It doesn’t leak to the press, because everyone has somewhat lost interest by the first week of November because every single member of the Penguins organization held up their end of the bargain and repeated “no comment” over and over until both they, and the reporters asking the same question in a million different ways, were blue in the face. 

It’s not until Sid is seen wearing his wedding ring as he is being interviewed on an off day that the newest reporter on Root Sports says, “Congratulations on getting married,” pointing to his left hand, that Sidney breaks his no comment tune and says, “Thanks,” with a million dollar smile on his face. 

\-------

The Middle

April 2015 

Michael’s book gets released in early March with a lot of initial success. Critics dubbed it a worthy second novel from a promising American author. They say he manages to live up to the standard he set for himself with his stunning debut novel. It fills Sidney with so much pride and affection. He didn’t know he was capable of feeling so proud of someone who isn’t on his team, or in his family. It’s an overwhelming feeling. One that he knows has somehow altered him forever. 

Mike’s away in New York or LA for most of March, but comes back to Pittsburgh before the start of the first round of the playoffs. It’s so nice having him there again when he gets back from practice to sit on the couch and read books side by side, bodies touching in the lightest of ways. It helps him center himself for what he hopes will be a long playoff run, and he tells Michael a million times (it seems) how glad he is that he is back in town. The fact that it is going to be a short lived renunion, due to Michael's upcoming book tour, has Sidney trying to cherish it that much more. 

He has a message on his phone from Mike after the last practice before the first game of the playoffs. He listens to it after he showers, but before he puts his suit on, sitting at his stall in a towel with his teammates swirling around him. 

“Hey, uh, so, I just got off the phone with my manager and I’m going to postpone my book tour until the summer. I just. I just like being here. I want to be here. With you and the book tour can wait, you know? Okay, I’ll see you when you get home tonight. Bye.” 

It hits him in a few different ways. An absolute mixed bag of emotions because Mike wants to be here, with him during what is the craziest time of his year. But, his boyfriend just released a book, a fucking great one and he should be out there doing his thing during his craziest time. When you are going to debut another book on the New York Times Bestsellers list, you don't phone in the promo because of the first round of the playoffs. 

He gets dressed in an absolute daze of thoughts. Of Mike and their relationship. Of the playoffs and the book. Of the future and the present. 

When he gets home Mike’s made dinner, his favorite. And, when he sets a plate of hot amazing food, which he spent at least the last 2 hours making, Sid avoids looking him in the eye and says, “I think we should break up.” 

“I thought this was your favorite meal,” Mike says in response. He’s not taking Sid seriously. 

“No, Mike, I mean I think we should break up,” Sid says again, putting some food on his fork, but not bringing it to his mouth. 

Mike finishes making himself a plate, slowly, deliberately, before sitting down across from Sid. He looks at him once he sits down and says, “Why, exactly, do you think that?” 

“I just think it’s the best thing for you, and me, right now,” he adds the part about it being for him reluctantly, to save face a little. 

“Because it’s the playoffs? We made it through last year.” Mike has put food on his fork and pushed it around his plate but, like Sidney, hasn’t taken a bite yet. 

“But, last year you hadn’t just released your book,” Sid says finally putting the bite into his mouth. He’s not even hungry anymore, but it gives him a reason to look away. 

“Ah, so this is about me postponing the book tour.” 

“Yea, I mean, no,” Sid says shaking his head. He didn’t mean to say that. 

“Look Sidney, I’m not postponing my book tour only because I want to be here with you during the playoffs, I’m not choosing you over my career, if that is what you are worried about right now, okay?” 

“Then why are you postponing it?” Sid asks because he can’t let Mike put off the book tour for him. He won’t let it. He won’t be that guy, because Sidney will always choose hockey. Always. 

“Because I can, Sid, and because I’m tired of travelling and talking about my fucking book okay?” 

“That’s the only reason? Aren’t you going to lose money if you cancel?” 

“I’m not cancelling, I’m rescheduling. The only money I am going to lose is the $200 non-refundable deposit I made at my favorite spa in San Diego,” Mike says in a tone Sidney’s not sure he’s ever heard directed at him before. He's heard Mike talking to his editor with that tone, his assistant, himself, but never at Sidney. 

“But, I am going to be so busy and distracted and won’t even be able to spend that much time with you until the playoffs are over, anyways. This is probably the best time for you to go on your book tour.”

“You know what Sidney?” Mike says standing up. Sid looks at him, slightly shrugging his shoulders upwards. “Fuck you. You can do the fucking dishes. I’m going back to my place.” 

Sid watches Mike stand up, grab his sweatshirt and keys off the middle island. He looks back at Sidney before he leaves and says, “And we’re not fucking breaking up.”  
_____

When he wakes up the next morning, he’s got a voicemail from Mike. 

“Uh, hey, Sidney, uh. I first wanted to say I’m sorry for storming out. That was incredibly immature. But, I couldn’t believe where you’re head is at. Why would you think it would be okay to break up with me because I wanted to postpone my book tour? And why did you think it’s not okay for me to want to be with you over being at my job? Look, I know we both have jobs that we are passionate about, and that we both lay down at night and our last thoughts are of hockey or my book, but that doesn’t mean I just choose my job over you because I am turning into someone who is less passionate about my writing, okay? Just like you’re not less passionate about hockey because you have me. I just. I can postpone this book tour for a month, no harm no foul, so I did it. So I can center myself and get ready to go back out there and talk about my book again. And so I can eat dinner with you when you’re not in fucking Calgary and listen to you bitch about all those times you got crosschecked during the game. Does that make me less of a writer? No, it really doesn’t, okay? Remember last year when I was in the final edits and I told you I couldn’t see you for two weeks until I finished? Do you? Okay. Call me back.”  
_____

They don’t break up. But, they live inside a limbo for the next few weeks. A limbo where they will eat breakfast together, since it is the only consistent meal they can see each other for when Sidney is in town, and talk at each other. Sidney will talk about unfair calls, bad checks, frustrating bounces, the genius of Kunitz and how winning never feels as good as losing does bad. Mike will talk about magazine reviews, phone interviews with literary blogs, the typo in the 18th chapter people won’t stop tweeting him about (as if it is HIS fault), how the Today Show called him because his book has inched up to the number 3 slot on The New York Times Bestseller list, and how glad he is to not be on a book tour right now. And, they will listen to each other. Truly listen to the others gripes. 

And, when the Penguins lose in game Seven of the Eastern Conference Final, Mike is there, at Sid’s house waiting for him in the kitchen. 

“I’ve got grandma’s cookies baking in the oven,” Mike says when he walks into the kitchen. Sid feels low, lower than he remembers feeling last year, or the year before that, but when he see Mike standing in his kitchen, his body fills with a sudden warmth. 

“Her famous recipe?” Sid says walking over to Mike, who engulfs him in a hug. 

“That very one,” Mike says into his neck. Sid met Mike’s grandma over Skype a few months back and all he could talk to her about was her amazing cookies. 

“You’re the best,” Sid says, continuing to let himself be hugged by his boyfriend. This was the hug he needed after the game. All the ones from his teammates were nice in the moment, but he knew this is the one he needed. The one only Mike could supply. “I love you.” 

“Love you, too” Mike says, kissing his neck and pulling away to open the oven door. “They’ll be ready in 2 minutes, go and take your suit off and I’ll bring some up to you.” 

“You’re really the best, Michael,” Sid says again because he needs Mike to know. 

Mike smiles and waves the spatula at him while mouthing the word ‘go.’   
_____

They have another week and a half before Mike has to go on his re-scheduled book tour. They spend the majority of it laying on the couch, Mike on top of Sidney, watching the Stanley Cup Finals and ignoring phone calls. 

The Ducks win in 5 games. Mike has his head lying on top of Sidney's chest when they get around to the cup ceremony. It’s helping keep him calm.

“You’re heart is beating really fast,” Mike says pushing his ear into his chest a little harder. “You remember what it’s like don’t you?” 

“Yea,” Sid says, not taking his eyes off the television. He is running his fingers through Mike’s dark, short hair. “It’s good to see a friend hoist it, though.”

“You guys were on the Olympic team together, right?” 

“Yea, both times,” Sid says. He hopes his heart is slowing down, so Mike doesn’t start to get worried about him. 

“It’s nice to share,” Mike says pulling his head up off Sid’s chest and quickly pulling himself up to peck him on the lips. “I’ve got to go home tonight.” 

“Why?” Sid says taking his eyes off the TV. 

“Got to get my apartment ready for the movers and pack my stuff for tour.” He leaves tomorrow. 

“You’re getting it all sent to LA, right?” Now that Mike’s book has been published he doesn’t actually have a reason to have an apartment in Pittsburgh anymore. 

“Yea. You’ll be there when my tours over?” 

Sid looks down at Mike’s head on his chest and all he can think about is how much he does not want him to go on his book tour. That he would trade being the one hoisting the cup right now if it meant that Mike was not going to leave for the next two weeks. He knows the feeling might be a fleeting one, one that upon second thought would seem insane, but that is how is feeling at that exact moment. 

“Actually, maybe I can come with you?” he says spontaneously. 

Mike raises his head to look at him, "Seriously?"

"Yea, I mean, why not?" It's not like Sid has anywhere he needs to be for the next 5 months. 

"Of course you can come, holy shit,” Mike says readjusting himself upon Sidney. It makes his whole body break out in goosebumps.   
_____

The Beginning

November 2013

For maybe the first time ever, Sidney questions his Canadian sensibilities when he makes the decision to go to Whole Foods on the day before American Thanksgiving. He makes it through getting the groceries he needs without too much trouble (although he had to wait for two people, hat pulled low, to finish picking out their salad dressing before he could get close enough to grab his favorite off the shelf). But, when he sees that the line to check-out is 8 or 9 people deep, he starts to get a bit anxious. 

He's standing with his basket, trying to decide if he should pull out his cell phone and pass the time like everyone else in line, when the guy in front of him turns a little towards him and says, “I probably should have expected this place to be crazy, but I somehow forgot tomorrow is Thanksgiving.”

Sidney looks up at him from beneath the brim of his hat, smiling, and says, “Yea, me too.” 

“I’ve been knee deep in writing a book, though,” they guy says, looking a little appalled at himself for saying that. He tries to save himself with, “What’s your excuse?” 

Sidney shrugs his shoulders up, “Canadian.” 

The guy laughs and says, “Okay, your excuse is better than mine.” 

Sid laughs, small and polite, and then it’s the guys turn at the register. Sid’s glad he made it through an entire conversation of small talk in a grocery store in downtown Pittsburgh without it being awkward or him being recognized. As the guy takes his bag of groceries and makes to leave he waves a hand up at Sidney, “Have a good day.”

“You too,” Sid says, exhaling. Maybe coming here wasn’t such a bad decision, after all.   
_____

The next morning Sid goes into the rink for an early workout. He’s having Thanksgiving with the Lemuix’s tonight and promised to be over to their place by mid-day to play some knee hockey with the kids. 

The PR woman, Laura, stops him in the hallway. “Sid, I have a request from an author who is trying to research a book about sports in Pittsburgh and his publicist reached out to us about talking to you. Would it be cool for me to have him call you? He wanted it to be informal. He’s a legit author, too. His first book has been on the Bestseller list for months now.” 

Sidney thinks about it for a second, he doesn’t actually have a lot of free time, but he should do the nice thing. And the PR people wouldn’t hand him off to someone they didn’t think they can trust. “Yea, sure,” he tells Laura. She high fives him as she walks away.   
____

On his drive home from what might have been the best American Thanksgiving he’s had yet, he sees he has a message on his phone from an unknown number. 

“Hey Sidney, my name is Michael Wilitsy. I’m an author who has recently moved to Pittsburgh to research a book on being a sports writer here. Thank you for taking my call. Okay, I need to admit something. We met yesterday at Whole Foods. I was that annoying guy in front of you that started that weird conversation. I totally knew who you were the whole time. So, I want to apologize for that. And, further, wanted to see if you would be interested in sitting down with me to discuss your thoughts, the athletes perspective, on sports writing in Pittsburgh. I know you have a crazy schedule, feel free to forward me to your PR department to set something up. I wanted to make a personal call to begin with, to make my embarrassing confession. Okay, hope you had a good Thanksgiving, even though you’re Canadian. Okay, bye.” 

It puts a smile on his face from beginning to end, and by the end of the call Sidney finds himself incredibly charmed. He decides to call Michael back right away. 

He gets voicemail. He glances at the clock while he listens to the automated voice recording and realizes it’s 11:00 pm. 

“Michael, hello. This is Sidney Crosby. I apologize for calling so late, I should of checked the clock before I decided to call you back. I can for sure sit down and talk with you. We are in town the rest of the weekend. Why don’t you send me a few days in times in the next 5 days and I will cross check them with my schedule and we will set something up. Okay. Uh, also, I have to say that I didn’t think our conversation at the grocery store was at all awkward, it by far is one of the easiest casual conversations I have had in a situation like that. So, uh, yea. I look forward to seeing you again. Happy Thanksgiving.” 

His cheeks might be a little red by the end of the message. It’s not that he is embarrassed, exactly. His heart just started beating a little faster as he talked, remembering how Michael looked standing in line in front of him. Sid recalls him having dark hair, about the same height as him but probably 80 pounds lighter. He remembers vaguely thinking that the guys was attractive in a Whole Foods type of way. 

He’s going to google Michael Wilitsky when he gets home. He has a feeling about him.   
_____


End file.
